It has come to my attention now days that competition and handling situations in a social setting are becoming harder to find than Carmen san diego thanks to technology and for once i don’t mean facebook or twitter. Today i had a moment to think back over three very odd senarios which are all to do with the Xbox and the breaking of relationships,arguments in relationships or a guy trying to impress the girl he likes via an XBOX..

Situation one : Irish-gate (because naming it after the watergate scandal is the thing to do)

Halo 3 , a game where men and women use over the top weaponry to blast the ever loving crap out of each other, a simple place, a place where you wouldn’t think a relationship would come into the arena. How wrong you are. An Irish girl joins our group, lovely girl , starts to chat to me and one of my friends and she tells us that she had actually only bought the Xbox to try and connect with her  fella more because all he did was play XBOX games all day.

We actually felt very sorry for her , she sounded like a fantastic girl and we couldn’t believe that her man was picking games over her. After saying that to her she said that she didn’t mind she wanted to be closer to him and if this was they way to do it then she would. He then joined the game and after hearing this heart warming plea of how much she cared… he proceeded to have a go at her for talking to two other guys on the net………… yes your reading this correctly.. she had spent probably over 200 pounds on a games console and game she probably didn’t even want, to spend more time with a man she loved and as she explained it he let rip into her. He also didn’t realize that we could hear them both as he didn’t mute the chat.

Situation two : Point-gate (don’t sit on it ! see what i did there .. ho ho ho.. shut up)

Once at a local drinking establishment with a few friends we were joined by a group of their friends. Two of these lads, all night people by the way, were trying to impress the local emo girl with their tales of meeting bands and tattoos…then it happened… a move that even Shaq couldn’t of stopped in his prime.. a move to lost a game … again to be shaq related it was like one of his free throws… Absolutely rubbish.

‘OH YEAH?! WELL I HAVE  4000 MORE GAMER POINTS THAN YOU’

There was a stunned silence .. followed by me laughing and people looking at me as if i had just slapped them copy of call of Duty. Not surprisingly the guy with more gamer tags lost this duel and went home.. probably to get more gamer points.

And finally Situation Three : Kobe-gate ( because this is as close as the Lakers will come to winning anything at the moment )

I don’t know about you , but i bloody love basketball. From the days of Reggie Miller , Michael Jordan and Patrick Ewing. So when NBA 2K11 came out (that doesn’t have Reggie in …sigh) I jumped at the chance at buying it … little did i know… that months later .. I would have probably the oddest display of macho-ism gone wrong thanks to it .

It was a normal day, a day like any other. I still Couldn’t hit 3 pointers and narrowly won games . I met up with a friend and her man at the time. She as usual was her lovely normal self and he was as nice as ever… until he asked me to play NBA against him. I jumped at the chance. I find it fun to play games against people when i have a small advantage. But he suddenly went from calm collected and nice , to intense and pretty darn annoyed.

He hated Kobe Bryant so i went the lakers and he went the Celtics. I won the match.. and what appeared to be a small part of his brain imploded whilst wanting a re-match. No replays of my moves were shown for the second game. none at all . He said it was because he just wanted to play, but by saying that coupled with the frustration in his eyes i could tell he wanted to beat me to prove something. But i couldn’t tell who too .

His girlfriend was being nice about everything poking fun at him as all girlfriends do and quite frankly you should be able to do that to a guy when hes making you sit through something you dont really enjoy.But he lost again .. this time with me as the knicks … and i dont mean carmelo anthony knicks i mean before the trade.

the rage was bigger, not smash something bigger but then another game was needed, if i hadn’t of lost the last game we would of been there all night until i had done because he had to prove himself to either her or some magical person i couldn’t see in the room.

But it lead me to this conclusion, is manhood now shown by a controller and not by just being a man? Are girls now impressed with gamer scores and not being treated like a women is supposed to be treated??? this worries me that i seem to be totally out of touch!

On monday night RAW , Adam ‘EDGE’ Copeland announced that he has to retire from professional wrestling due to a neck injury that he has had for years. As he said himself he was ‘wrestling on borrowed time’  and did not want to risk paralysis which is noble of him and as I have put in the title of this article , this makes him the smartest man in wrestling today.

Someone who has given the wrestling world everything he had from day one leaving it all out there. Love him or hate him , he is one of the best performers of all time who worked his way from the ground up.Edge was told that he would not be cleared medically to wrestle anymore, he is retiring because of this.

But you might be asking ‘why does this make him the smartest man in wrestling today?’ .. simple – He is not ignoring the doctors like so many people have in the past. Reading Hulk Hogans comments about how everyone would carry on with injuries and ignoring doctors is saddening to say the least. You would think a guy with so much history in the business, seeing people die before they are fifty, paralyzed from in ring activity and the constant pain he is in himself would be able to understand why Edge has to do this.

Sure flair and Austin ETC all carried on after injuries, but the fact is they wern’t told they would be paralyzed and in the case of Austin he knew it was his last match and had to pack it all in to heal. I would never want to see Edge in the condition that Hogans in or still carrying on like flair is.

In Essance what im trying to say is thank you to Adam Copeland … not just for giving us all fantastic entertainment for all those years. but for showing wrestlers in the industry today that its ok to think to about your health and well being , fans give a damn about your health its not all about putting on shows for us and risking your own life, the least we can do is show our support , our thanks  and re-live the memories that we have because of you. You said that you hoped you had the respect of the fans, you do, every single one of us

As everyone knows games are one of the many things that every bad incident in the world that involves a minor takes flack for even when its got nothing to do with the inicident. Sure you open the paper and it will say ‘ TEEN SMASHES CAR WITH BRICKS THEN STEALS ENGINE BECAUSE A GAME TOLD HIM TO DO IT ‘ I know what your thinking:

1) I have never read that headline

2) which papers do you buy that are that big that have that much space for a headline.

Those are both irrelvent points at the moment, mainly because this is going to exaggerate everything as much as the press and parents do ( did you expect anything less ?) . Anyway back to the paper, you read the story which gives you the blandest run down of the game, with all of the points of why this game apparently makes the children do these things , showing complete disregard for their mental health, the fact they were bought the game by the parents, but more judging of them later.

So lets look at this weeks title : I know what your thinking that their were many titles that I could of picked to begin with , but going back in time ( and due to me digging out random stuff from my room ) Ive decided to start with the a gamers classic:

Ah yes , Street fighter , a class arcade style game made by the developers at capcom. A staple in the beat em up genre for many years, this game is considered to be one of the best standards of fighting game around . It reclaimed its throne after many years in the gaming wilderness when the fourth instalment of the games was brought out. ( lets all forger that street fighter 3 and such happened, they weren’t that bad , it was just not the next step forward). BUT the point of this blog is to say what good has come from this .

Now you may think I can say imagination and competitiveness in gamers, but this ones a lot more simple . Hand eye coordination in a big way .

I didn’t think a blog could generate silence but I think this one just did…

The reason that I make this point is that the REALLY good players of this game have to learn combinations that would be confusing to the average person , one of the main staples of the street fighter series is the lengthy combos that can turn a fight around a merit of the developers is that they never strayed away from this and also made it that if you screw up the combo you simply wont pull of the move. It has then taught the player not to button bash and to make sure they look at what they are actually doing the combinations , thinking a move ahead, realizing that the wrong hand movement could actually mean they mess up and could cost them the match.

If anything Street fighter can teach people with little knowledge that fighting games arnt the mean nasty thing that people make them out to be , that with a good plot they could actually teach rather than what people accuse them off. In fact , with technologies advances these games could become a great work out for any age .

End of transmission till part two .

I guess i had to just write, you know ? there are sometimes when you feel as if writing is the only thing keeping you sane , keeping your mind on track ,the feeling that if you don’t write something then suddenly penguins are going to march into your room saying ‘ you lost , there’s a polar bear in every freezer now ‘ or something like that.

Yes to write is to think , to think is to dream and to dream can be saucy,stupid or enlightening depending on what mood your in at that particular time. Time is another thing that seems to take hold of us all, when we drop the ball (like i have alot in recent weeks demolishing the very few pleasures i have and completely ruining a relationship actually made the earth stand still) we all end up like footballers after they’ve lost a match, telling everyone where we went wrong , how we will make sure that we dont make the same mistakes again with people we care about .

But do we ? do we as a species actually learn from our mistakes? lets face it , people who get with people who hurt them always go back to them , the guy who had a failed business and went bankrupt never seems to learn and the one who left their straightening irons on their best top is most likely to do that again soon.

So what is it that keeps some people from making mistakes that doesn’t stop others?  It maybe how big the failing was. I know i wont let someone down like that again, its ok for me to say it or write it , but ill never know until im in that position again which i really i hope doesn’t happen because that means another person has to have a terrible and traumatic time for me to show ive learned from my failing and that im more mature, more in tune and have more control over my own manic depression to concentrate on others rather than let comments and people sniping at me to really upset me at a time when another person needs me more.

On another note i have also realized that information gives people too much power, and that some networks such as social ones get out of hand because of websites now days . so i have decided that in the future i shall be taking down all of the pictures, memories and times that are on facebook and shutting down my own account. Social networking is supposed to be the future, but when your own mentality predicts that it can ruin your own life,relationships, job applications and friendships then its best that you have that power, not a website.

Piece and chicken grease .

Round ONE

Lesnar begins quickly for a take down be clearly Carwins having none of it , ground the manuver and beginning to attack straight from the floor . Once back to their feet Carwin begins to throw punches, a massive uppercut lands and Carwin goes in for the kill. He connects with a huge knee which sends brock sprawling to the mat, Carwin pounces knowning this is his chance to take this fight , it was his time , it was time to show the world that Brock was just a westler , or so it was thought.

Carwin lands big elbows , the crowd chanting his name. its clear that brocks fighting on his back is not his strong point, but the damage he takes and still goes is unbelievable , Carwin was a machine , but lesnar was a pillar of granite.

Brock tries to get to his feet but carwin grapples him , the blood from Brocks face makes it seem like the gladiators of old , but Shane isnt about to let someone whos career began in a fake sport get the better of him , and keeps him locked tight.

Knee after knee from Carwin , with one back from Brock but its not enough , if this fight ends now then Carwin surely is a UFC god and lesnar will fade in to the obscurity that a lot of fans would like him to go to . The clock ticks down and the air horn goes . Brock is saved, for now.

Round TWO

As with many UFC fights, its all to play for , hell if we british commentated on it we probably wouldn’t make much sense, giving the fight to one person before its really kicked off and saying a fights rubbish for ending in the first round.

When Brock is in the corner you can see the the fear in his eyes, it had finally happened, he was against someone who was stronger than him , that he couldn’t use usual tactics to over power and that had trained to take out Brock Lesnar, he was finally against someone who took him seriously.

Much Like Ali in Zaire (but of course no where near as meaningful), Brock found himself against a man who has unbelievable power. A man that people thought he will not be able to stand up against. It was time for Brock to fight back.

It begins .

Lesnar and carwin stand off, Brocks looking for the take down for his usual ground and pound. With his amateur wrestling background it would seem to be natural that Lesnar would go for takedowns to take control of fights. Trying to take control of the fight lesnar tries to over power Carwin, but its clear Carwins trained for a ground and pound from Brock , shots to he body of Carwin do not seem to affect him.

But to the trained eye it’s clear that brocks going for something else, he’s not going for the usual ground and pound style that’s won him so many fights. Trying to lift himself Brock starts to angle himself, the arm triangle begins. At first it looks as if Brock doesn’t have it locked in, with Shane pushing the elbow to stop it locking in fully. Carwin taps.

The winner brock lesnar.

Brock jumps to his feet to celebrate but at the same time has a look of surprise that he pulled it off. Which to an extent he should do, if I had been refereeing id of probably stopped it in round one . But you have to hand it to him , he won the fight, kept his title but most importantly won over some of the critics to his career so far, this was his biggest test, he was almost down and out , but he pulled through and showed why he is UFC champion… carwin lesnar 2 anyone ?

from this point on , you give up your day job and your sleep

It’s a monday morning, im staring at a break away bar with the wrapper slightly off, thinking about sleeping but i cant because work really isn’t the place to do that ( note:then again writing this is the same . wow i wish i got paid to do this ! a writer ! about random crap.. ahh yes spelling and grammar your right.  moving on! ) .

why do i need sleep ? well two chapters into alan wake , the latest game by remedy, and im already looking forthe nytol on the basis that it’s that scary. ive never been scared by a game before in my life before this game appeared. I even think this would give horror films a run for its money , then again im not scared by them thanks to GCSE media studies, learning is fun!

So as you can tell as im only two chapters in then i wont ruin anything for you and i wont spoil what is probably one of the best games to come out on the xbox in a while. so where to begin ? Alan Wake is a writer, a writer who hasn’t brought out a book in two years , he and his wife Alice have gone for a getaway , what was meant to be a break is also meant to help alan write, though he doesn’t want to and hates the idea that people want him to write again.

as they get to a lodge reminiscent of the 1970′s it seems that all is not as it seems ( NO SPOILER IM NOT THAT DETAILED LETS FLASH FORWARD) Alice disappears and Alan awakes in a car crash and begins to find pages of a book , this books telling the future, and it seems it was written by Alan.

Between the crazy chainsaw guys and fantastic gripping storyline im sure this will be one of the best games of the year, i shall be armed with a flash light for the rest of the week till its completed… stay tuned for the overall review!

when are the tour dates !?

Today we remember lembit opik, an ex mp who may of lost the plot…. or has he ?  

It was a usual thursday under our new government, not sure which scandal will break first to make them look like every other government that we’ve ever had ( the funniest thing i find at the moment is the papers calling the coalition the con-dems , see what they did there ?!?! how smart ! … well lets be honest its about as witty as anything you’ll find on the back of a ten year olds maths text book) when i noticed something, something very odd , out of the ordinary.  

‘Former MP Lembit Opik begins comedy career in London’  

As i began to read this i was fascinated, id always been a fan of lembit as hes very unique, he wants funds to stop planet destroying asteroids, went out with a cheeky girl and plays the harmonica very well which viewers of have i got news for you will know well.  if anything we need more politicians like lembit , hes a good guy who is about politics and leaves everything out in the open which is needed in todays society instead of reading tabloid scandals and corruption which seems to follow every other mp around.  

upon reading about the event i realised that hes just like everyone else who’s in between careers, trying to find out what his next move is , ill be honest i dont think mr shoe will catch on but hey its a start.. and he’ll always be funnier than jim Davidson.  

so Mr Opik, we salute you !

this is about as good a concept as sending in westlife to bring peace to the middle east (on hindsight that might not be a bad idea… cue there fans waiting outside my house with bats and old calendars to beat me to death). So why am apposed to that idea? Well mainly because im sure the main stream media probably wont of really covered this story making me seem like a really lifeless and nerdy person for reading about it and writing this. But mainly because every time this plan comes out from a politician ( and when you really look into it everyone’s thought it at one time) and no one actually looks at the bigger picture.

 Lets lay it out simply shall we ….. it’s a boat….with guns and policemen …outnumbered by prisoners about 10 to 1, when will one of the prisoners brain cells set off and go ‘ hey guys ! I think we can take them , become a real set of pirates!’ and then the rest of us can live in fear as they take to the high sees in the prisoner boat sailing around stealing from every dock and harbour running riot.

Of course im not looking at the bigger picture that we could just sink the boats with our naval fleet, then human rights protesters will appear saying ‘he may of killed 34 people . But blowing him up was against his human rights’ and then all the BNP members decide its time to start a war against everyone and everything. So basically the ship means the apocalypse !! were all doomed!.. wait maybe im going over the top but you get my point . Or maybe im mad and we should have prisoners roaming the high seas ,,,,

Before anyone says it , yes i know this is written to probably the same standard but at least theres some backing to what i write ( mainly my brain… and things that annoy me  or are irrelvant .. but they are mine … look if you want indepth things read the guardian or somthing , im taking a bet mine has less spelling errors in it … famous last words ). The thing is that they are getting that lazy that they can’t even be bothered reviewing a televison program correctly.

As the whole blooming world knows the grand finale of david tennants tenure as the doctor was up, yeah he punched the big old time lord ticket in the sky to go meet tom baker and the gang in documentary heaven in several years to come and letting matt smith take on a challenge that will would be harder than trying to make out that the bay of pigs was a sucess…

however it was brought to my attention several hours ago that one again , true to form , a paper couldn’t even report the story on that correctly . the paper in question shall be left nameless as it shouldnt be classed as a paper more like the lining of a bed for a untrained kitten.  it stated that ‘ the master was finally defeated by the doctor ‘ …. WRONG the master tried to redeem himself in some way by taking on the rassilion and stopping the timelord president killing the doctor. it then went on to say ‘ he was helped of course by wilfred noble’…….. WRONG…. once again it his name was wilfred Mott and quite frankly he did the best performance out of the lot of them..

yes i know its picky and yes i know its just a show but its lazy reporting which basically governs our world , hell if we listened to these papers for everything then obama probably would have lazer cannons for eyes and tiger woods would of slept with that many women his penis may of crumbled to dust whilst he says ‘ beware of STI’s’ before his teeth exploded from the amount he had to pay out to each and everyone of the girls they list e

Were all too busy in this year going ‘ its not my fault, it’s the worlds fault ! Not mine at all ! WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT THE WORLDS YOU’RE A HATER!’  ( or whatever the cool kids say now days) the fact is that nothing changes if we don’t all just get out there and do something . So I  for one am taking this idea to the moon , hell if I can get to the moon that would be an added bonus.

Lets face it , no one is going to knock at your door and say “heyyyy! You know that job you really want ? That course you want to do ? That person you want to be with ?? Well im going to sort that all out for you today ! And you don’t have to do a thing”. so for everyone whos stuck in that rut, here’s some tips :

Be creative : lets face it , work/sleep/work/sleep/drink/sleep/work is boring, use spare time a bit creatively, make a video, write something , paint , learn a language , work out . Do something that makes you go ‘ I am not in the same routine ,its great !’
Be social : look the main thing that people hear is ‘ I never meet anyone I just go work ‘ then the follow it up by going out with .. People they work with .. Remember the friends you’ve made over the years ? The ones you don’t work with ? Why not go out with them and meet new people ! That way your sociable and your meeting new people at the same time , ultimate win !
Find your talent : no …. not Britain’s got talent that’s painful , id rather drink a fresh cup of depresso than watch that , but we all have talents or things were good at , so get better at them , hell who knows where they could lead
Try as many different things as you can : don’t say ‘ HELL NO’ try things ! it’s a new start! So trying everything could be what makes it a fresh year for you.

So a short note really , but its what i’m doing so you do it too! If you want im not a preacher , I just teach what I know and then realize I don’t follow what I say , but that’s the change .  Speaking of change ! The kicking the gravel will be changing , with videos and much more … so not just reading ! We shall be multimedia! Living the dream!

Piece and chicken grease